


Storytime with Captain Usopp

by Prince_Darkcloud



Category: One Piece
Genre: Action/Adventure, Fantasy, M/M, Romance, Storytelling, ZoSan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-03
Updated: 2012-01-03
Packaged: 2017-10-28 20:30:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/311888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_Darkcloud/pseuds/Prince_Darkcloud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While waiting for Sanji and Zoro to return, Usopp declares that he can use his 'psychic abilities' to find them. The other crew members, one by one, pitch in their ideas for what could've happened. The result? A crazy, mixup of genres that could never actually happen. Or could they?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Storytime with Captain Usopp

The Straw Hat Pirates had just loaded the last of their supplies onto the Thousand Sunny. They were completely ready to disembark; now only if they could.

"Neh, Luffy." Chopper was draped over the railing with his tongue hanging out.

"Na~ni? Luffy whined. He was splayed across the lawn deck and had been complaining about an empty stomach and a missing cook until Chopper had piped up.

"Do you think they're alright, Zoro and Sanji?"

"A~hn ny~ahn~" Luffy groaned, the 'gururu' of his stomach at an audible level. Chopper turned to Usopp, looking for a more intelligible answer.

Usopp saw this as the perfect opportunity to enlighten Chopper with his 'psychic abilities.'

"You're a psychic Usopp? You're so cool~" Chopper and the miraculously revived Luffy beamed.

"He-hee," Usopp chuckled smugly, "I was once known as 'Captain Usopp: The All Knowing~" He added with an air of fantastical mystery.

"Ho ho hooo~" Luffy laughed, "Neh, neh, Usopp, can you see Sanji?"

"And Zoro?" The doctor added with hopeful glee.

Proudly placing a thoughtful hand under his chin, Usopp nodded to himself, "Indeed I can." He cracked an eye open, "I can even tell you what they're doing right now."

"Tell us Usopp! Tell us!" Luffy and Chopper began a chant of 'Tell us! Tell us!' And Usopp obliged, but not without dramatic gestures and unintelligible gibberish he later claimed were spiritual chants.

"Ah yes~ I can see them now…"

()o()o()o()o()o() **-1-** ()o()o()o()o()o()

Sanji was walking idly down the market streets, poking his head around every corner and checking every dead end in town.

"Where'd that marimo-bastard go…?"

"Hey there, Nii-chan!" An older man called out to him.

"Hm?" Sanji turned around and stuffed a hand in his pocket. "You need something, Ossan?"

"You're looking for someone right?"

"Yeah: muscular, green hair, and a scary, ugly mug that can make kids cry. Seen 'im?"

The man looked taken aback for a moment and started to stutter, but he regained his composure and scratched his chin, "Hmm…I seem to recall a man with green hair, he was headed up the mountain about an hour ago."

"That…baka-marimo. Thanks, Ossan!"

"Don't mention it!"

When Zoro awoke, he was sitting against the trunk of a particularly large tree, perched near the edge of a cliff. Before he had fallen asleep, he had been taking in the view of the island in its entirety: the village, the market, the harbor, and the vast sea beyond it. He had somehow managed to find himself at the top of the mountain instead of at the bottom, where he had intended his final destination to be, and was sure that, after taking a much-needed break, he would eventually wind up where he was supposed to be. He inhaled and released a deep breath of air before standing up and stretching, getting ready to begin his journey back to the ship, a goal he'd—probably—accomplish after a few tries.

"Should go find the others, they're probably lost or somethin' by now…" He mumbled, his mind still half asleep from the nap he just took. The bushes behind him started to rustle and a string of curses flew forth from their leafy boughs. Now fully awake at the possibility of an enemy, he placed his hand on Wadou; not sure who was behind him, but whoever it was, they had an incredibly foul mouth.

"Oi oi, I come in peace baka-marimo." Sanji poked his blonde head through the shrubbery and the rest of him followed clumsily behind. "How the hell did you get up here…?" He mumbled, straightening his clothes before taking a drag at his cigarette.

"What are you doing here aho love-cook? How'd you find me?" Zoro scowled at Sanji for having to, once again, find him and drag his sorry ass home.

Sanji ignored his question and walked over to the edge of the cliff. "This is probably one of the better places I've had to come pick you up from. You at least managed to pick a decent spot to get lost." Sanji sat down and continued to smoke.

Zoro stared at his back, "What're you doing?"

"I'm enjoying the view and a smoke. Got a problem with that?"

Zoro grunted. He turned to walk off on his own, but was stopped when Sanji piped up again.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Zoro. You'll just get even more lost."

Zoro's eyebrow twitched at the remark. "Ehh? What was that, dartboard-brow?"

Sanji released a waft of smoke and snubbed his cigarette into the dirt. _'It takes skill to traverse up a mountain when you intended to go down. How freakin' stupid are you?'_

"What was that, bastard?"

"Oh, I said that out loud?" Sanji commented offhandedly.

"Che, screw you, I'm going." And with that, Zoro stepped into the brush and out of Sanji's sight. He sat at the cliff admiring the same view Zoro had been before he wandered off.

()o()o()o()o()o() **-X-** ()o()o()o()o()o()

"Nyaaaah~ Your story's _boring_ Usopp." Luffy complained, pursing his 17 year old lips into a 3 year old pout.

Chopper blew a raspberry before pouting as well, "Boo~ Boring!"

"Do not blame me if what you seek is not what you want~! I'm just telling you what I see~!" He wiggled his fingers, trying to preserve his image of a highly revered psychic.

"But what you see is stuuupid! Tell us a more interesting story!" Luffy was flailing his limbs like a child denied sweets in a candy store, Chopper taking after his example.

"There wasn't even any BL in it."

"Wah, Nami! When'd you start listening?" Usopp jumped in surprise. Nami had her head in her hand with her elbows perched on the railing above the three boys' heads.

"It's not like I was eavesdropping. You talk so damn loud we can hear you all over the ship. So," She slammed her hands down on the railing she had been resting against, "where's the BL?"

"B…" Usopp started.

"L…? Chopper finished.

"Neh, Nami, what's BL?" Luffy questioned, the other two looking up at her as well.

Nami clasped her hands together and a faint blush crossed her cheeks, "Boy Love."

"NANI!" Her three younger male crewmates exclaimed, "N-Nami! Y-Y-You're a yaoi fan!"

Nami completely ignored their exclamation, "So Usopp, can you continue the story, but throw some BL in there, and don't make it all lame and sappy. That doesn't suit the characters."

' _Characters?'_ Chopper thought, many possibilities for Nami's illness running through his head, though he didn't believe it was one he could cure. _'Maybe a variant of Sanji's ailment.'_ He concluded.

Nami continued to stare at Usopp, expectantly awaiting the continuation of the story.

"You're not gonna let this go are you?" Usopp asked, the beginnings of a sweat drop on his upper brow.

"Nope!" She beamed. She jogged down the stairs and sat next to Usopp, the gleam in her eye still present.

The sweat drop fell full force, and Usopp signed in resignation. "Alright then, where was I? Let's see…"

()o()o()o()o()o() **-2-** ()o()o()o()o()o()

Sanji stared out into the ocean, waiting for Zoro's terrible sense of direction to lead him right back to where he was but a moment ago.

And he waited.

And waited.

Waaaaaaaaited.

' _Maybe he won't come back.'_ Sanji thought with an air of disappointment. He snubbed out his 6th cigarette and turned to head back through the dense jungle. He reached a hand out towards the bushes to part them so he could squeeze through, but something obstructed his nonexistent path, something with hair greener than the grass beneath Sanji's feet.

Zoro was looking particularly frustrated at that moment. He was entangled with vines that were covered in big, beautiful, soft looking flowers. Sanji stepped back and allowed him to step fully into the cliff-side clearing.

"Stupid….plants…dammit." Zoro started to pull at the blossoms until he had a bunch of them clasped in his hands like a slightly mangled bouquet.

"How sweet, Marimo. You went out and got me flowers." Given how Zoro had been holding the flowers he looked like nothing short of a young child who had gone out and picked wildflowers for his mother.

"As if, baka cook." Sanji smiled at Zoro's half-hearted retort and took the bouquet from his hands. He stared at them a moment before looking up at Zoro and then back down at the flowers. He removed one of the larger blooms and placed it behind Zoro's ear, kissing him just below the corner of his mouth. Zoro's reason for allowing it to be placed—whether it was the flower or the kiss, both were a mystery—was probably one even he didn't know of.

Sanji's rare, warm smile turned into a much more familiar, mischievous smirk. "The shitty field seems to have grown a flower."

"Bastard I'll—"

()o()o()o()o()o() **-X-** ()o()o()o()o()o()

"What are my little bros and sis up to?" The largest of the Straw Hat crew called from the upper deck to his much younger nakama, interrupting the story.

"Ah! Franky!" Luffy greeted.

"Yo!" He replied, waving one of his gigantic, steel hands.

"Usopp is telling us a story!"

"A story huh? Sounded like some cheap, crappy romance to me." The Cyborg hopped down onto the grass lawn. "You should put more action into it." He sat down to the right of Luffy and Chopper, getting comfortable against the wall behind him

Usopp sighed, "I was _originally_ just supposed to be telling you guys where Sanji and Zoro were, and what they were up to, you know." The rest of the crew pretended like they hadn't heard him and just stared, waiting to hear the rest of his story. He sighed, "Alright, Alright." He cleared his throat for good measure, "As soon as the taunt left his lips, Sanji bolted into the forest…"

()o()o()o()o()o() **-3-** ()o()o()o()o()o()

Sanji was running at breakneck speed, but not so fast that Zoro would lose sight of him and get lost again. He turned around to gloat only to see that Zoro was catching up with him, the flower long gone.

"Quit running, dartboard! I'm gonna kill you!" Sanji smirked, increased his speed, and hugged the flowers closer to his chest so they wouldn't get blown away. He made a sharp turn and almost ran smack dab into a brick wall. He'd come across a dead end; something his beloved enemy was famous for.

"Ahh, I feel like a certain shitty bastard."

"Who's a shitty bastard?" Sanji turned around to see his favorite counterpart standing in the only obvious outlet. "You lost, Sanji."

"Ho?" Sanji reciprocated Zoro's overconfident smirk and prepared himself for another round of 'cat and mouse' when something seemed off. He looked passed Zoro and caught a glimmer of something out of the corner of his eye. His eyes widened, "Get down!" He ran forward and lunged at Zoro, dropping the flowers, and bringing them both onto the ground, sliding a little.

"Oi, what was that for!" The fiery trail of a projectile whizzed passed them, and would have gone through both their heads had they not gotten out of the way. The wall Sanji had encountered during their little 'game' was soon to be no longer when a blast of white fire exploded not far from where they'd landed, sending various sizes of shrapnel flying, some hitting the explosive's original target. Sanji had fallen on Zoro's chest so he had taken most of the blow.

"Consider that my thanks for the flowers." Sanji crawled off Zoro with only minor discomfort and offered him a hand up. Zoro took it and was instantly dragged away from the scene.

"They're still after us." Sanji commented as they ran, still hand in hand with Zoro.

"Yeah, I can see them now." A group of about 20 masked men where running along the roofs of the houses and various stores, shooting at them with all sorts of weird guns.

"We've got to get out of here or the whole town will be destroyed." Sanji cut in front of Zoro, making a sharp right turn down an alley.

"Don't tell me what to do." Zoro pulled back on the hand, trying to get Sanji to follow _him_ instead of allowing himself to be lead like a lost pup.

Sanji growled and pulled back just as hard. "I'll tell you to do whatever the hell I want until we're out of this mess. It's your fault for getting lost in the first place. But I guess that's like trying to put blame on the fire for being hot when you burn yourself."

Zoro scoffed. "We could've gotten away if you hadn't gone back for those stupid flowers, since when have you always been such flimsy romantic, huh?" Zoro squeezed Sanji's hand tighter. Even though his words said one thing, the simple gesture clearly expressed that he was, though grudgingly, somewhat touched, but he insisted that the flowers had been an 'accident.'

"I've always been a romantic." Sanji countered as he whipped Zoro around yet another corner, "I'm The Prince, or have you forgotten?"

"Tche, I apologize Ouji-sama." Zoro snorted a single bark of laughter, "How could I forget that you're the Prince of Retardia."

Sanji was about to bite back, but he thought of something better, "If I'm the Prince of Retardia, then you must be my damsel in distress. Right, Zoro-chan?"

Sanji sniggered when Zoro reacted as he predicted; he visibly bristled at the comment and flushed a light red. When Zoro ducked to avoid yet another flaming explosive, he took the opportunity to scoop Sanji up in his arms. They had reached a dead end, but Zoro didn't stop. He leapt onto the roof, but was quickly fired at.

"As if I'd ever," Zoro bent his legs, preparing to jump.

"Oi, Oi, shitty Marimo, there's a cliff on the other side! What the hell are you—"

"Be," a missile was zinging towards them and Zoro made a heroic leap off the rooftops, "your woman," The missile exploded and the pair was backlit with a massive explosion, "you bastard-curlicue!"

()o()o()o()o()o() **-X-** ()o()o()o()o()o()

"My, my. I never knew Kenshi-san was such a romantic hero."

"Robin!" Nami called, "Come join us!"

Robin chuckled, "Alright then." She made her way down the stairs and sat down next to Franky and graced him with a small smile. "Maybe you should give your story a more dark and mysterious tone Nagahana-kun."

"…You mean, like twists and horrible unimaginable happenings?"

"You make it sound so dramatic. What if Cook-san and Kenshi-san just ran into a little…trouble?" Robin's eyes sparkled with a mischievous glimmer that you'd only be able to catch if you knew the woman for while, even still you might not have caught it.

But Usopp knew that glimmer and he gulped audibly. "A-Ah, ok then. This story is already way out of whack anyway. Oi, Brooke! You wanna join us!"

"Oh, I would be delighted to, Usopp-san! I shall be down momentarily, yoho!" Brooke jumped down from the observation deck and landed softly in the center of the circle that had formed during Usopp's story telling. He took two long strides so he was standing behind Luffy and Chopper, delicately sipping on a cup of tea.

"Alright, now that everyone's comfy, I'll continue. This time, with a dark and mysterious tone~"

"And more boy love!"

Usopp sighed, "Yes yes, now back to story-time."

()o()o()o()o()o() **-4-** ()o()o()o()o()o()

Sanji and Zoro were free falling; the only thing beneath them was thick foliage, not a comfortable landing. The two had started a mid-air battle; they had time before they hit ground.

"Why the hell did you jump, bastard!"

"What was I supposed to do! It was a dead end!"

"We could have turned around and fought!"

"I had you in my arms, you would've just gotten shot you ungrateful aho love-cook!" The two grasped the collars of each other's shirts simultaneously, seeming to completely disregard the fact that they were _still_ falling.

"I never asked you to hold me, baka!" The two growled at each other before they both broke out in uncharacteristic smiles. There was something about impending doom that just seemed to enhance romance. With these two at least, anyone else would have been much too distracted with thoughts of death. Sanji slid a hand behind Zoro's head and brought his lips down upon Zoro's. "Don't think you get to be the only hero here. I get to save your ass too."

"Yeah, yeah." Zoro said without any thought in his words. His only thought was of rejoining his lips with Sanji's, and did so without fail. He moved his mouth back and forth, rubbing the smaller pair of lips above him gently.

Sanji sighed and rolled his eyes before closing them, deciding to just enjoy one of their rare prolonged kisses.

He was rudely brought down from his blissful moment when Zoro pulled away, right when Sanji had planned on taking the kiss one step further. "Hey, Curlicue."

"Stupid, shitty, unromantic swordsman, don't go ruining the moment just because you want to insult my eyebrow." Sanji leaned forward to start kissing Zoro again, but was blocked by a big, calloused hand. "What!" A vein pulsed on his forehead.

"Don't let your libido get in the way of your common sense love-cook." Zoro snarled before asking, "Shouldn't we have hit ground by now?"

"Hm?" Sanji looked past Zoro's empty, marimo-head—"Oi!"—to see that the ground was still a ways off. "Huh?" he repositioned himself and was now straddling Zoro's stomach—Zoro was lying down in midair—so he could look up at the cliff they had jumped off. They had only fallen about 100 feet, but the wind was still rushing passed them. "What the hell's going on?" And as if someone heard Sanji's question, the speed of the wind surrounding them suddenly intensified and they were blown back up, now parallel with the cliff's edge, but still about 20 feet away from it.

"Hn hn hn…" A smug laugh came from the air around them, "Do you like my Kaze-Kaze no mi? I think it's rather fun…being a wind man…" Suddenly, a gust of wind separated Zoro and Sanji and swirled around them individually, sill keeping them afloat.

Sanji and Zoro started to writhe about in midair. "Hn, useless! Do you really think you can escape from _air?_ Are you both idiots?" The man started to materialize at the edge of the cliff. He had tan skin and hair white as snow that twisted and swirled about him; his eyes sharp, smug.

"Put me down you shitty wind-man!" Sanji glared daggers at his captor, only to receive a look of pleasant surprise.

"Oh? I seem to have caught quite the cutey." The man used his ability to bring Sanji closer for inspection.

Sanji's temper flared while Zoro laughed with a hint of unease that only his closest nakama could detect.

"Shut up! Marimo bastard!" Sanji clutched the flowers to his chest again, subconsciously protecting them from the mystery man's wind. He whipped his head around and barked at the stranger, "And who the _hell_ are you!"

"Ah, my apologies, sweet heart," Sanji gurgled out obscenities and incoherent babble at the pet name, his face growing even redder with rage. "My name is Yamagata Sato. A pleasure." Sato tipped an imaginary hat and smiled.

"Oi, Zoro! Get us out of here!"

"What the hell am _I_ supposed to do!"

"I dunno, think of something, then again that's not really your strong point is it?"

"Oh ho! What is this? Do I detect a 'lovers quarrel'?

"Shut up!"  
"Fuck off!"

"Ahh, I see~ well then, if I'm going to have this adorable blonde all to myself, then I can't possible let his boyfriend live! Boys! Prepare my bride!"

"Right away! Sato-sama!" Sato's wind shredded Sanji's clothes until he was in nothing but his boxers. Zoro turned away for modesty's sake.

"Bastard! This is no time for your shitty modesty!" Suddenly, two of Sato's men, or whom they presumed to be, given the circumstance, jumped off the cliff with a puffy, white dress that glimmered in the sunlight.

"No…NONONONONO! I _SWORE_ that I would _never_ wear a dress after Kamabakka Island!"

Several minutes later, Sanji was, once again, in a knee length white dress against his will. "I'm going to kill you, shitty-marimo."

"How the hell is this _my_ fault, aho-cook!" Zoro growled out, trying to hide any chuckles that happened to bubble to the surface.

"Now now, you don't want the last words you share to be pointless squabble, do you?"

"Last words…?"

"Come here, my dear." Sanji ground his teeth into the end of his cigarette as Sato brought him forward once again. "Now watch, as I control the air pressure around your _darling_ and squash him like the insignificant louse he is, hn hn!" Sato extended a hand and slowly began to close it, adding drama to his technique. "Let's start with the legs, shall we? We'll work our way up~"

"O-Oi! Zoro! Baka, what's the matter with you!" Zoro was clenching his jaw in pain; Sanji could hear the familiar snapping sound of breaking bones and winced. He could see blood pooling under the skin.

"AAH—ARGH!"

"BASTARD STOP!"

"Hn hn hn hn…now that your legs are totally useless~ Let's see what happens when I do that to your _torso_ , hm?"

Zoro could feel the wind travel up his body, teasing him, letting him know he was completely _helpless_ in his current situation. Then, the crushing pressure began. His insides were twisting and writhing about, compressing and rearranging, trying to avoid the—

()o()o()o()o()o() **-X-** ()o()o()o()o()o()

"Waaaah~ stop it Usopp~!"

"I agree, it's much too scary, Usopp-san!" Chopper was crying his innocent little eyes out while Brooke clasped his head in horror at the thought of the swordsman's body getting compressed to the point of bursting.

"Oh? I thought it was getting rather interesting. I wonder what would've happened." Robin let out a mildly disappointed sigh, followed by a slight chuckle at her companion's horrified expressions.

"You're one twisted babe, Nico Robin." Franky voiced the thoughts of everyone in the storytelling circle, but no one openly agreed.

She laughed pleasantly, "Perhaps."

"Hey, Brooke! You're the only one who hasn't anything to the story yet!" Nami exclaimed.

"Hey, you're right." Franky agreed.

"We didn't get to add anything either..." Luffy and Chopper pouted, feeling like they had been forgotten.

"What do _you_ want me to add, Brooke? Something normal perhap—"

"Oh, I know just the thing." Brooke spun around with his signature yohoho before continuing, "Perhaps something fantasical, Usopp-san? And not quite as morbid, yoho!" Brooke added with a shudder.

"Alright everyone, come closer and listen carefully!"

No one moved.

"C'mon, don't be shy, come closer!" Usopp encouraged with the wiggle of a finger and the quirk of an eyebrow. "We're about to reach the climax of the story! And the conclusion as well…thank god." Usopp only thought the last sentence in his head as everyone leaned in a smidgeon closer.

"Now, listen closely…"

()o()o()o()o()o() **-5-** ()o()o()o()o()o()

"Ahhrgh..Nnn UWAH!" Zoro moaned and cried out in pain, and Sanji was barely able to watch.

"Well, enough teasing, let's say we end this—"

()o()o()o()o()o() **-X-** ()o()o()o()o()o()

"Usopp! You said no more scary thiiings~" Chopper cried. "I won't be able to fix him if you keep going~!"

"Hold on Chopper you've barely let me start!"

()o()o()o()o()o() **-5.5-** ()o()o()o()o()o()

"—let's say we end this, shall we?" Sato was about to deal the finishing blow when an ear splitting shriek bombarded everyone's ears. "What in the hell was that!" Sato cried, momentarily forgetting about his captives.

Sanji took advantage of the temporary distraction, "Oi, Zoro. You alright?"

"Tche this is—" Zoro's sentence was interrupted by a labored gasp and a soft moan, "nothin, Curlicue. I'm just glad—ngh—it wasn't you."

Sanji was touched by Zoro's sentiment until he went and kept on talking. "Cause if you'd ruined your legs you'd be about—gasp—as useful as a sand bag," he smirked, "or worse."

Sanji was mad at first, but then he remembered when he had said that exact same thing to Zoro and smiled. "Shitty bastard."

"Huh," Sato murmured after not being able to locate the source of the shriek. "Anyway, shall I continue with the—" whatever he said after went unheard even by Sato himself. The shriek they had heard before was sounded again, this time it was louder, and appeared to be getting closer. "What the hell is going on!"

A harsh wind practically blew everyone off their feet, if they were not already floating in midair.

"Sato-sama! Please control your anger, you've just sent some of our men flying off the cli—"

"That wasn't me, you dipshit!" Another brief burst of wind.

"It's like we're being fanned by some humongous…thing." Zoro commented, always the observant intellect.

Sanji didn't even bother with a retort, but stared curiously at the man in front of him. Sato's face was paled and his eyes wide with surprise or something akin to fear. Sanji craned his neck to look behind him and instantly copied Sato's expression, "Wha—wha—wha—wh-WHAT THE _HELL_ IS _**THAT!**_ _"_

"What are you babbling about co—" Zoro turned around and was practically nose-to-nose with a large sea-foam green dragon, it's wings, each the size of Sunny's main sail, flapping, creating the monstrosity of a wind they had felt earlier. Its slender, pink tongue slithered out and tickled Zoro's face. "What's going on!" The dragon reared back its head and roared another ear piercing roar, the vibrations could be felt in ever bone, broken or not, of Zoro's body. He was afraid his ears might start bleeding.

Sato fell back on his ass, his expression shifting into one of helplessness, the face he always took pleasure seeing on his victims before their innards exploded at his whim—a suitable fate. But as Sato fell, he forgot to maintain the gusts of wind that were supporting both Sanji and Zoro, so they began to fall, once again on their way to the ground they were supposed to have hit minutes ago.

The dragon breathed a massive ball of fire, expressing her fury towards the man who had dropped her green haired comrade, well, if by comrade you mean he had the same color hair as her scales.

She left Sato's charred body and swooped down, the green haired man already in the arms of some blonde person. _'That must be my comrade's friend. I shall help him too.'_ The dragon tucked in her wings even further, bringing her into a nosedive at breakneck speeds. She unfurled her wings and caught Zoro and Sanji in one fluid motion.

Sanji looked at the back of the head of his and Zoro's savior. He was holding Zoro bridal style, ironically enough, and almost lost his balance when the dragon took an unexpected and sudden turn, veering off towards the right.

"Ah, thanks dragon. Appreciate your help back there." Sanji looked down at the now sleeping man in his arms. "Baka marimo, going and getting hurt again…aho..shitty-sworsman…mumble." The dragon suddenly shrieked with surprise and dove back down towards the ground, catching Sanji by surprise. He wrapped one arm around Zoro's waist as he grabbed one of the dragon's long horns with the other hand. "Oi, Oi! What gives!"

' _I'm sorry, but it seems that we have trouble!'_

"Huh?" Sanji shook his head, trying to convince himself that he hadn't heard a voice. "Am I hearing things?"

' _No, it is I, my name is Veiva. You're riding on my back, dummy.'_

Sanji blinked at the dragon, then down at Zoro who was obviously not asleep anymore, though he pretended like he was, and sighed. "Ah…well, nothing can surprise me anymore."

A pool of light suddenly appeared in front of the trio and Veiva stopped and hovered. "Oi, Veiva, what's this?"

' _A dark wizard's portal! We must flee from here!'_

A man shrouded by a brown cloak slowly fazed through the shimmering light. "I've come here," he said, ominously but without hesitation, "in search of a dragon."

' _He—He couldn't mean—!"_

"What? What! Oi, dragon! Tell me what's going on!"

' _He's in search for the legendary Dragon of Neveroth! A dark and—'_

"Don't care, just get me back to my Nakama." Sanji abruptly interrupted before it became a pointless ramble.

' _Hmph, fine! Ungrateful human…'_ The dragon swooped around and left the wizard floating midair. "Well, fine then, I'll find him on my own." And with that, the nameless, magic man disappeared.

' _Where is your ship?'_

"Just on the other side of that mountain."

' _Alrighty then.'_ Veiva flapped her wings with extra vigor, lifting her lithe, nimble body skyward. But then, a puff of black smoke erupted from the mountain and Veiva stopped dead in her tracks.

"Oi, what's going on? You can fly around this can't you?"

' _That's not the problem! Look!'_

Suddenly, a large, dark purple dragon appeared from behind the center of the smoke cloud; its roar, greater than the ones they'd heard before, rocked the island with incredible force and—"

()o()o()o()o()o() **-X-** ()o()o()o()o()o()

"Hey, Usopp, did you hear that?" Nami asked, her attention suddenly drawn away from the story. She rose to her feet and looked around.

"This island is rumored to be a dormant volcano, but there is still the possibility it could erupt." Robin added her own gloomy view on the subject as she too stood up, "If it were to explode, many of the citizens would undoubtedly suffer a most painful death if they were unable to escape the lava in time." The rest of the crew got on their feet, not knowing what it was exactly that they were looking for.

"There you go with your morbid ideas again, Robin. Honestly!" Nami exclaimed, but not altogether doubting her. She looked up at the mountain, "Look! A smoke cloud!" Franky and Robin exchanged a look.

"Hey, can you hear that!" Everyone strained their ears.

"…aaaiiii…"

"Ay?" Chopper repeated with uncertainty.

"…eehhhh…aaaaaaiii…"

"No no, not it's saying 'eh, ay!'" Usopp corrected hesitantly, doubting that what he'd heard had been correct.

"Nagahana-kun, have you ever been tested for possessing psychic abilities?"

"N-No…w—"

"…seeeeeet…saaaaaaaaiiiiiilll…" The tiny voice cried. The entire crew looked above them, a giant green…lizard thing was headed straight for them.

"No way…" Nami whispered, everyone turned towards Usopp, who had one of his lenses pulled down over an eye.

They all simultaneously turned their heads towards the volcano, there was a muscular, dark purple dragon perched on the volcano's rim; they could barely make out a man surrounded in light floating before it. Then they all fell to the ground, as if hey were puppets who'd had their strings cut.

Robin was the first to recover, and when she did, she looked up, only to hit the deck again in a duck. Veiva came swooping down, dumping Sanji and Zoro unceremoniously onto the grassy deck, smack dab in the middle of Usopp's, now completely destroyed, story circle. All of the Straw Hats surrounded them immediately.

Big and thoroughly mangled flowers fell from Sanji's arms as he got up onto his hands and knees, the dress falling to the middle of his thighs, "We have to set sail immediately! There's some crazy wizard guy!"

Zoro propped himself up on his elbows, his legs too far gone to move at the moment, "And dragons!"

Sanji turned on him, " _NOW_ you wake up! What the hell were you doing for the past 10 minutes, hunh!"

"Shut up! You said you _wanted_ to be able to save me!"

"When the hell did I say that, did that wind-man crush your _brain_ as well!"

"You wanna fight, pretty eyebrows!"

"As if you could baka-marimo!" The pair stopped fighting, as if just remembering that the rest of the crew was staring at them in disbelief. "Ah, that's right! You're probably wondering about why we're like this…"

The group shared a look and burst out laughing, much to Sanji and Zoro's surprise.

"Not at all cook-san, not at all." Was all Rabin could manage through her fit of giggles.

"See," Usopp's pride and smug attitude restored, "I told you I was a psychic."

 **THE END**

 ****


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